To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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