I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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