the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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