I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize