I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
