some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
