All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
