I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
