Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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