definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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