HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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