At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
