I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
