She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well I just put wine in my tea
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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