and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
