so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
