either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
