then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize