I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
