i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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