Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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