oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
