this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize