I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
