She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
