HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
