Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
