she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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