And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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