He kissed a someone with a penis
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize