dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
