the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
