Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
