you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
