Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
