escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
