There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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