Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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