Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
