Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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