You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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