I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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