I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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