She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
