barbara walters just said penis...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
