Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
