bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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