Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
