How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
