I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
