My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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