dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
