I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I faked an abortion last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
