I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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