do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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