so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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