I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
