Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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