You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
