I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
