don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
