we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
