How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
