i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
