He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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