At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
