The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
