nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
