Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
