we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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